In a few words, I am so frustrated with myself. I keep spending money on overpriced coffee at Starbucks, and charge purchases on my credit card without even thinking twice about it. If I don’t change something, I’ll probably end up being a full-blown coffee addict with a large credit debt by next year.

Not only that, but I have been neglecting my studies lately, my eating habits are less than healthy, and I am absolutely loathing my job. My priorities are fucked up. I keep telling myself I am going to do something; then, as usual, the procrastinator/slacker side of my kicks and the thought is shoved aside. I am nineteen-years-old for goodness sake. Although I may think I have taken responsibility of my life, I can hardly prove it with my latest behavior.

Firstly, I need to stop spending money on Starbucks. I don’t have to give it up completely, but my intake needs a severe cutback. As humiliated as I am to admit it, I buy two coffees a day even though after the first one, I promise myself I won’t get another one later. I’ve tried to leave all my money and cards at home, yet I somehow seem to get my hands on one when a nice coworker offers to buy. Bah.

Secondly, if school is to become a top priority, I have to actually study and do homework and balance it with recreational time and work. Ever since I took a promotion, the seven days of the week are spent either at work, at school, or on Tuesdays and Thursdays, both in the same day. A lot of people can juggle both school and full-time work with ease. I just started school, and I have not been doing so well with the whole balance thing. I am seriously considering taking a demotion next semester. I have discovered that I am not putting my heart into figuring out what I want to do for the rest of my life. In order to do that, I think I need to step back, focus on school, and enjoy my youth at a pace I can manage.

Sure, I work well under pressure, but the stress at the store is just not worth it. One might say, “Yeah, welcome to the Real World.” To be honest, the “Real World” sucks for a lot of people, but it does not have to suck for me. I am in control of my life and I want to mold it into something I will be proud of in the end. I only get one chance. I don’t want to blow it.