While everyone in my family and at work was getting sick I was amazed that I was not among them. I am normally one of the first to get sick. My luck just ran out. Yesterday, I woke up feeling a sore throat coming on. I just thought I could beat it by drinking a lot of water and taking sore throat drops. Nope. This morning I woke up with a full-fledged sore throat - it got worse as the day at work dragged on. As of this moment, I totally feel like shit. My throat hurts every time I swallow, my nose is backed up like a Los Angeles freeway, and the area around my eyes and nose ache. It's probably a sinus infection... fuck. I am so relieved that I have tomorrow off.
Bah. I hate being sick. It royally sucks.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
So....
I am sitting here waiting for my mom to finally get ready to go out. Since waking up around nine this morning, we were planning to go shopping around the Las Vegas Strip, but because my dad had the car, we had to wait. Then dad came home and went to pick up my brother. Meanwhile, my mom is just now taking a shower - I have been ready for the past forty minutes. Bah. I'm bored. Oh, yeah, I have to make a deposit for my account. Speaking of banks, Wells Fargo and Best Buy are really irritating the living fuck out of me. A few months ago, in October, I bought a DVD at Best Buy and they offered me a free issue of Entertainment Weekly. I said yes, and they asked for my check card, which I stupidly let them use to complete the transaction. The problem was that I only had about a dollar in the account that I planned to close anyway.While I was at work a few days ago my dad called to inform me about the transaction. I have negative fifty in my Wells Fargo account (didn't close it as planned - procrastinating again). Twenty-four for a "subscription" that I never authorized, and the rest a fee for overdrawing. Jesus fucking Christ. I had to spend my lunch that day trying to get the idiots at the bank and the magazine to reverse the charges. Wells Fargo sent me a letter yesterday screaming for me to pay the fee. It's not my fault. Entertainment Weekly was supposed to reverse the charges. Apparently, the idiots are taking their sweet time giving me back my nonexistent "money". I'm glad I got a new account with Bank of America. At least they are competent people who will cooperate with me.
Don't even get me started about work. It fucking blows. They keep sticking me at cashwrap to deal with the psychotic customers. Some old guy yesterday made a scene when I asked for his photo ID with his credit card. He accused me of calling him a liar and a thief in a tone that the entire store could hear. (Checking ID with a credit card transaction is store policy as well as for his benefit). Even after I called for my manager, he impatiently barked at me to call her again while she was on her way. My manager knew I would never call a customer a liar or a thief. The bastard said he didn't have a photo ID because he was an alcoholic - they took his license away. In the meantime, his wife has stormed out of the store in humiliation while stunned customers looked on. Two ladies even stayed to defend me and say that I only asked for his ID. "She was insinuating that I was a thief!" the old guy continued to shriek as I just checked his signature with the credit card. My manager let it go. He wanted to file a complaint, sue us, and God knows what the hell else. As soon as he walked out of the store, I burst into laughter. That had to be the most amusement I ever had while at work. The rest of the day dragged on; by the time I went home, I was grumpy, tired, and hungry.
Needless to say, I really needed today off.
Don't even get me started about work. It fucking blows. They keep sticking me at cashwrap to deal with the psychotic customers. Some old guy yesterday made a scene when I asked for his photo ID with his credit card. He accused me of calling him a liar and a thief in a tone that the entire store could hear. (Checking ID with a credit card transaction is store policy as well as for his benefit). Even after I called for my manager, he impatiently barked at me to call her again while she was on her way. My manager knew I would never call a customer a liar or a thief. The bastard said he didn't have a photo ID because he was an alcoholic - they took his license away. In the meantime, his wife has stormed out of the store in humiliation while stunned customers looked on. Two ladies even stayed to defend me and say that I only asked for his ID. "She was insinuating that I was a thief!" the old guy continued to shriek as I just checked his signature with the credit card. My manager let it go. He wanted to file a complaint, sue us, and God knows what the hell else. As soon as he walked out of the store, I burst into laughter. That had to be the most amusement I ever had while at work. The rest of the day dragged on; by the time I went home, I was grumpy, tired, and hungry.
Needless to say, I really needed today off.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Valentine's Day sucks
Almost immediately after Christmas, Valentine's Day gifts were already appearing throughout the store. I find myself curiously studying the pink and red-colored objects wondering about the people who would receive them from their loved ones. Then I begin to envy those people and mentally growl something about Valentine's Day being a total sham.
I told myself a few days ago that I would stop getting frustrated over not dating. (I also promised myself I would not drink coffee and stop procrastinating - haha!) I just think it's not fair how a lot of people have boyfriends/girlfriends and fail to realize what they have with them. They are totally undeserving.
Meanwhile, I am stuck out in the cold wondering what the hell I am doing wrong. Most of the frustration I feel is the fact that I do not attract attention from guys. Am I just not noticing it, or am I really that invisible? As shallow as it might sound, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if it's my hair, the numerous freckles, my nose, my teeth, my makeup, or my eyebrows among dozens of other things. I don't have low self-esteem, if that's what you think I have. I consider myself to be attractive both physically and personality-wise. The only thing I stress about is whether or not I am attractive to other people. I'm not looking for sympathy or ego boosters. I cannot help but analyze things like this over and over until I drive myself half crazy. I get nervous and shy around guys I am attracted to, I never make eye-contact, and ultimately I look like a damn fool.
Even though I subconsciously know that dating can be a drag, I still want to know what it's like to experience what so many others talk about. I am a virgin (I said I want to date - I would like to clarify that I am not eager to lose that yet), I have never been out on a date, and embarrasingly enough, I've never been kissed. Drew Barrymore in that one movie reminds me of myself - though I thank whatever divinity out there that I am nowhere near her character on the geek scale.
What upsets me the most is that I get ignored or blown off, and when it comes to friends as well. Just this past summer in Poland I met up with a guy I exchanged a few e-mails with on a Polish website (like myspace) in my town. I was not expecting to date him or anything; however, I was looking forward to having a friend, someone to hang out with. We walked around and talked for a mere hour before he took me home (he said he was going to watch a Euro 2004 match with his brother). I thought it went well. We seemed to get along just fine. Afterwards, I sent him an e-mail with my phone number so he and I could hang out later. He never answered my e-mails. When I tried to send him an instant message twice he ignored me. What the hell did I say or do? I wanted to know why he wasn't answering me, the fucking jerk. I dwelled on it for a few days, then eventually forgot about it. I don't exactly know what the rules for friends are in Poland, but in the United States, some people have enough balls to just tell the person that they really don't want to hang out with them.
I really should stop letting myself get frustrated over all of this. If I am meant to fall in love (or have a better social life too) I suppose it will come naturally. The question is... when?
I told myself a few days ago that I would stop getting frustrated over not dating. (I also promised myself I would not drink coffee and stop procrastinating - haha!) I just think it's not fair how a lot of people have boyfriends/girlfriends and fail to realize what they have with them. They are totally undeserving.
Meanwhile, I am stuck out in the cold wondering what the hell I am doing wrong. Most of the frustration I feel is the fact that I do not attract attention from guys. Am I just not noticing it, or am I really that invisible? As shallow as it might sound, I look at myself in the mirror and wonder if it's my hair, the numerous freckles, my nose, my teeth, my makeup, or my eyebrows among dozens of other things. I don't have low self-esteem, if that's what you think I have. I consider myself to be attractive both physically and personality-wise. The only thing I stress about is whether or not I am attractive to other people. I'm not looking for sympathy or ego boosters. I cannot help but analyze things like this over and over until I drive myself half crazy. I get nervous and shy around guys I am attracted to, I never make eye-contact, and ultimately I look like a damn fool.
Even though I subconsciously know that dating can be a drag, I still want to know what it's like to experience what so many others talk about. I am a virgin (I said I want to date - I would like to clarify that I am not eager to lose that yet), I have never been out on a date, and embarrasingly enough, I've never been kissed. Drew Barrymore in that one movie reminds me of myself - though I thank whatever divinity out there that I am nowhere near her character on the geek scale.
What upsets me the most is that I get ignored or blown off, and when it comes to friends as well. Just this past summer in Poland I met up with a guy I exchanged a few e-mails with on a Polish website (like myspace) in my town. I was not expecting to date him or anything; however, I was looking forward to having a friend, someone to hang out with. We walked around and talked for a mere hour before he took me home (he said he was going to watch a Euro 2004 match with his brother). I thought it went well. We seemed to get along just fine. Afterwards, I sent him an e-mail with my phone number so he and I could hang out later. He never answered my e-mails. When I tried to send him an instant message twice he ignored me. What the hell did I say or do? I wanted to know why he wasn't answering me, the fucking jerk. I dwelled on it for a few days, then eventually forgot about it. I don't exactly know what the rules for friends are in Poland, but in the United States, some people have enough balls to just tell the person that they really don't want to hang out with them.
I really should stop letting myself get frustrated over all of this. If I am meant to fall in love (or have a better social life too) I suppose it will come naturally. The question is... when?
Insanity
I had one hellish eight hour experience at work today. I came in this morning expecting to have a nice calm Monday. It was not until I gazed ahead at the long line of people (and kids) in front of my cash register that I remembered that it's Martin Luther King Day. Everyone was having a three day weekend. Good for them, bad for me since I barely had a second to breathe during my shift. The person who organized the schedule obviously did not remember that the 17th of January this year was a holiday, nor did they anticipate the onslaught of people that flooded the store.
What surprised me the most was that I was in an inexplicable and delightfully good mood after I got home from the bookstore. I even willingly gave my brother ten dollars when he asked me to pay him back for late fees on my Hollywood rental card. What the fuck is wrong with me? It must have been the coffee I promised myself I would not have for another month. I could not resist...dammit. It might have also been the fact that I have a refreshing nine hours of sleep last night. I passed out at ten o'clock and heavily slumbered until my alarm clock blared at seven o'clock.
Tomorrow I have the day off, and I am already wondering what I can spend my money on. All I ever do anymore on my free days is go shopping with my mom. Maybe I should go to bank and make a deposit so I won't be tempted to blow the cash I am supposed to be saving anyway. The good news is that I will have over one thousand with my next paycheck - that's a plane ticket to Italy right there (if I am lucky enough to find a discounted price).
That reminds me, I do have a valid reason for spending money. I have to buy some stationary so I can write a nice long letter to Paulina. I promised her that I would write to her, but thus far, I either keep forgetting (most used excuse .1) or haven't had the time because of work (most used excuse number .2). She must think I don't like her or something. My aunt sent me a short note with a tour catalogue she got me saying that Paulina has not received anything from me yet. I felt horrible after reading that. I don't like abandoning friends, and that's probably what she thinks I am doing.
Oh, yes, how interesting it must be to read about the miniscule details of my boring life. I am sure you are more than sick of reading my rambling - although telling by this blog's statistics nobody is reading anyway. Ha.
Thoughts of the day: Why do some people get defensive when I have to check their ID before they use their credit cards? I need a new job. I can't wait until I take time off in March/April.
What surprised me the most was that I was in an inexplicable and delightfully good mood after I got home from the bookstore. I even willingly gave my brother ten dollars when he asked me to pay him back for late fees on my Hollywood rental card. What the fuck is wrong with me? It must have been the coffee I promised myself I would not have for another month. I could not resist...dammit. It might have also been the fact that I have a refreshing nine hours of sleep last night. I passed out at ten o'clock and heavily slumbered until my alarm clock blared at seven o'clock.
Tomorrow I have the day off, and I am already wondering what I can spend my money on. All I ever do anymore on my free days is go shopping with my mom. Maybe I should go to bank and make a deposit so I won't be tempted to blow the cash I am supposed to be saving anyway. The good news is that I will have over one thousand with my next paycheck - that's a plane ticket to Italy right there (if I am lucky enough to find a discounted price).
That reminds me, I do have a valid reason for spending money. I have to buy some stationary so I can write a nice long letter to Paulina. I promised her that I would write to her, but thus far, I either keep forgetting (most used excuse .1) or haven't had the time because of work (most used excuse number .2). She must think I don't like her or something. My aunt sent me a short note with a tour catalogue she got me saying that Paulina has not received anything from me yet. I felt horrible after reading that. I don't like abandoning friends, and that's probably what she thinks I am doing.
Oh, yes, how interesting it must be to read about the miniscule details of my boring life. I am sure you are more than sick of reading my rambling - although telling by this blog's statistics nobody is reading anyway. Ha.
Thoughts of the day: Why do some people get defensive when I have to check their ID before they use their credit cards? I need a new job. I can't wait until I take time off in March/April.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Burned
Remember that figurative saying that explains that once you've been burned, you'll never forget to make the same mistake again? Well, that type of incident happened this morning... literally.
I was making myself oatmeal in a mug. A mug? Yes, in a mug. It was one of those small instant packages, and it really did not make sense to heat it in a bowl. So I put it in the microwave for about a minute and a half, and I reach in to take it out when my hand gets fucking seared by the handle. I almost dropped the damn thing before letting out a silent yelp (my mom was still sleeping in the next room), which was of course accompanied by a few curses. I know exactly what you are thinking: "What an idiot!" Even after being up for two hours my brain refused to work properly - I did not think twice about grabbing a thick ceramic mug that had been heated in the microwave for ninety seconds.
The expression "Ouch!" is sorely understated. I spent the rest of the morning trying to quell the throbbing pain in my right hand and fingers. I felt like sawing it all off at the wrist when the thick layer of ointment I slathered on decided it would take its sweet time to kick in. My mom told me to take an aspirin; instead, I begged her for some morphine. Twenty minutes later, I was in the shower holding my hand to avoid having the burns come in contact with the hot water. Needless to say, as soon as I stepped out, I had a newfound sense of appreciation for those who do not have two arms.
I swear, these kind of things only happen to me. Two days ago I accidentally locked my stuff at work with somebody else's lock. That somebody else happened to be the supervisor I absolutely loathe. My register also came up exactly twenty-five dollars short in cash. I KNOW I did not give anybody more change than I should have given them because I always count back change. I have no idea where the hell that money is. Then my paycheck didn't come on time because of "a computer error". What's going to happen tomorrow? Knowing my luck it will most likely be something embarrasing like tripping over myself or running into a glass door at full speed (the last one hurts... a lot).
In light of these recent (and unintentional) screw-ups I said to hell with being cheap and saving every cent. I wanted to do something for myself; therefore, I decided to refine my feminine talent: shopping. I bought myself an expensive pair of jeans, a sweater, and three CDs (Bryan Adams, Velvet Revolver, and Duran Duran) as well as took my mom out to lunch. I felt incredibly satisfied when I got home... and then realized that I have to go to work again tomorrow at 7 AM. Then I have Thursday off, which irritates me even more because I really would like to have my two days consecutively. Bah!
I was making myself oatmeal in a mug. A mug? Yes, in a mug. It was one of those small instant packages, and it really did not make sense to heat it in a bowl. So I put it in the microwave for about a minute and a half, and I reach in to take it out when my hand gets fucking seared by the handle. I almost dropped the damn thing before letting out a silent yelp (my mom was still sleeping in the next room), which was of course accompanied by a few curses. I know exactly what you are thinking: "What an idiot!" Even after being up for two hours my brain refused to work properly - I did not think twice about grabbing a thick ceramic mug that had been heated in the microwave for ninety seconds.
The expression "Ouch!" is sorely understated. I spent the rest of the morning trying to quell the throbbing pain in my right hand and fingers. I felt like sawing it all off at the wrist when the thick layer of ointment I slathered on decided it would take its sweet time to kick in. My mom told me to take an aspirin; instead, I begged her for some morphine. Twenty minutes later, I was in the shower holding my hand to avoid having the burns come in contact with the hot water. Needless to say, as soon as I stepped out, I had a newfound sense of appreciation for those who do not have two arms.
I swear, these kind of things only happen to me. Two days ago I accidentally locked my stuff at work with somebody else's lock. That somebody else happened to be the supervisor I absolutely loathe. My register also came up exactly twenty-five dollars short in cash. I KNOW I did not give anybody more change than I should have given them because I always count back change. I have no idea where the hell that money is. Then my paycheck didn't come on time because of "a computer error". What's going to happen tomorrow? Knowing my luck it will most likely be something embarrasing like tripping over myself or running into a glass door at full speed (the last one hurts... a lot).
In light of these recent (and unintentional) screw-ups I said to hell with being cheap and saving every cent. I wanted to do something for myself; therefore, I decided to refine my feminine talent: shopping. I bought myself an expensive pair of jeans, a sweater, and three CDs (Bryan Adams, Velvet Revolver, and Duran Duran) as well as took my mom out to lunch. I felt incredibly satisfied when I got home... and then realized that I have to go to work again tomorrow at 7 AM. Then I have Thursday off, which irritates me even more because I really would like to have my two days consecutively. Bah!
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Thinking (yes, I do that)
Waking up at 5 AM sucks. It really does. I absolutely hate dragging my ass out of bed while it's still dark outside to wander through the freezing house. And meanwhile, the rest of my family is nestled in their nice warm beds. Hell, waking up at 7 AM was sleeping in compared to my work schedule now.
I suppose with training to stay full time at the bookstore comes some sacrifices - sacrifices which I constantly question as I stand in front of the mirror each morning looking deathly pale and bearing an impressive resemblance to a zombie from Resident Evil (a good movie, by the way). Also keep in mind that I really don't get any benefits; oh yeah, don't forget that mind-blowing wage of $6.75 per hour (note the sarcasm).
Then again, money is money. Even though I have decided not to go to Brazil (I won't be able to get my new passport and visa in time for March), I'm still saving the majority of each paycheck for yet another escapade to Europe in the summer. My sister wants me to go to Spain with her to visit a friend, and I want to invade *cough* grace Italy with one of my friends. Ah, the trouble I could get myself into. *Insert evil smirk and devil horns here.*
The only thing I am worried about (I am the eternal worrier) is whether or not we would have enough to money to survive in bella Italia. It's unbelievably expensive with rooms at even the cheapest hotels being around 100 Euros a night. Jesus, I thought about $5,000 would do for a minimum of a two week vacay, but I guess not. We would have to be sleeping underneath bridges, in tents, or with a family I would beg to take us in. I guess one of my New Years resolution should be to find a rich guy! (No, I'm not that shallow... but a little $$$ would be nice!)
Another option I've thought about is staying outside the major cities. I am very sure that it would be at least a few Euros (if that) cheaper, plus we would be seeing more than just the extremely touristy areas. The only problem would be transportation in getting to and from where we want to go, blah, blah, etc. etc. Somebody help... please?
With that tiny plea, I leave you a few final thoughts before I bury myself underneath my bed covers:
Why did my brother leave a crushed Pepsi can on the bathroom counter? Americans do not dress as well as Europeans. Are Crest white strips really safe? They make my teeth so sensitive to the point where it feels like I have no enamel and cavities are having a field day. My homemade coffee tastes better than Starbucks (you know it's good).
I suppose with training to stay full time at the bookstore comes some sacrifices - sacrifices which I constantly question as I stand in front of the mirror each morning looking deathly pale and bearing an impressive resemblance to a zombie from Resident Evil (a good movie, by the way). Also keep in mind that I really don't get any benefits; oh yeah, don't forget that mind-blowing wage of $6.75 per hour (note the sarcasm).
Then again, money is money. Even though I have decided not to go to Brazil (I won't be able to get my new passport and visa in time for March), I'm still saving the majority of each paycheck for yet another escapade to Europe in the summer. My sister wants me to go to Spain with her to visit a friend, and I want to invade *cough* grace Italy with one of my friends. Ah, the trouble I could get myself into. *Insert evil smirk and devil horns here.*
The only thing I am worried about (I am the eternal worrier) is whether or not we would have enough to money to survive in bella Italia. It's unbelievably expensive with rooms at even the cheapest hotels being around 100 Euros a night. Jesus, I thought about $5,000 would do for a minimum of a two week vacay, but I guess not. We would have to be sleeping underneath bridges, in tents, or with a family I would beg to take us in. I guess one of my New Years resolution should be to find a rich guy! (No, I'm not that shallow... but a little $$$ would be nice!)
Another option I've thought about is staying outside the major cities. I am very sure that it would be at least a few Euros (if that) cheaper, plus we would be seeing more than just the extremely touristy areas. The only problem would be transportation in getting to and from where we want to go, blah, blah, etc. etc. Somebody help... please?
With that tiny plea, I leave you a few final thoughts before I bury myself underneath my bed covers:
Why did my brother leave a crushed Pepsi can on the bathroom counter? Americans do not dress as well as Europeans. Are Crest white strips really safe? They make my teeth so sensitive to the point where it feels like I have no enamel and cavities are having a field day. My homemade coffee tastes better than Starbucks (you know it's good).
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